My Sister, My Bride

When I began an interesting journey to discover what I truly am, the original intent of the journey was to learn how to be a better person. How not to lie, how to be more loving/giving to fellow human beings. I had wandered away on a dance the ego had led me from the Light I had know in childhood. It was dark, I was growing more and more unhappy with life, and I had maxed out all my credit cards trying to find joy or at least some relief from unhappiness.

Raised Catholic, I have been Christian all my life, so when I finally had that "forehead slapping I need to wake up" realization, I turned to Christ again. The first real passages from the Bible I was led to read over with new eyes was not from the New Testament. It was a section in the Old Testament: The Song of Songs or Song of Solomon. Definitely not what I expected and there I found a phrase that is repeated over and over: "My Sister, My Bride."

The teachings I was raised on brought two alarms to mind. One was incest; if your sister is your bride that means you are committing incest. The other was the Catholic teachings that, "This is Christ speaking to the Church, His Bride." This has nothing to do with me personally.

Or did it?
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My mind rebelled initially at the thought that I am either Sister or Bride. How could I be? All that I had know of myself at that time was what the ego told me I was. I was still asleep, but being called to wake up.

Since then, I have accepted the part of Sister. There are times when I am not as vigilant as I need to be. The ego slips in and babbles to me. You make yourself too great! You are believing a lie and will be cast into the flames of hell/damnation. The one you call Brother will meet you at your time of death and say, "I never knew you." It creates a great deal of fear and anxiety.
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But there is now another part inside me. Whether this part is my own spirit or the Spirit which Christ told his followers will come to help us, I cannot say for certain. There may even be some aspect where they are one in the same. After all, that which is within me is an extension of God, which is exactly how I picture the Holy Spirit of the Trinity. But at the same time, that which is truly me is also an extension of God. This is the part of me that is awakening.... and teaching as it remembers.
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When I think with my "right mind" I understand and now believe wholeheartedly I am Christ's sister. Some have even tested that by arguing with me. But there is no combative response in this. I do not have to fight to keep it. It simply is. This makes me believe this is truly of the spirit and not of the ego that fights for what it wants. There is peace, not anxiety or fear. There is only fear when I wonder if I am NOT His Sister.

So that leads to the next step in the line of reasoning. What does it mean? What am I?
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For one, I am NOT greater than any others. What is true for me is true for all humanity - any time or place. Nor do I pull my Brother from His position at God's right hand to bring Him down to my level. If anything Christ pulls us up to be with Him.

So, in the first aspect, I am not see any others greater or lesser than myself - the opposite of what the ego teaches us. What about Christ? I will admit, I still see Him as greater than I am. But we are growing closer. I am very much His little sister, looking up to my elder Brother with Love, admiration and adoration. I want to be just like Him. He is my inspiration, my teacher and friend. All the things an elder Brother should be.
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What about the second part of the phrase? "My Bride." That is in me too. There is still many questions. The only thing I have come to know for certain is that I do NOT know what the Bride really is. What is the Bride's role (other than loving the bridegroom)? Who is the Bride? Is it just one person? Is it all people? Is it the church? Is it a collection of people? Is it a city (such as Jerusalem)?
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I AM the Bride; I do not know what I am though. That is the purpose for this blog. I continue to learn...