Finding Joy

Yesterday, a friend's email shared a presentation on building a joyful community. The word "joy" stuck in my mind, and brought up a familiar taunt: When are you really Joyful?

Despite my chipper attitude on twitter (pun intended), I experience doubt, depression and deep sadness. Growing up outcast and all-but-completely rejected by my own family, I have scars that never fully healed. I also have few friends I can turn to when I need help. I struggle financially to meet basic needs. So very easily I can nod in assent to those words and wonder: When am I really joyful? Do I even know what joy - true JOY - is?

Then a confident, if quiet, Voice answers: Joy is here, but I stubbornly hold myself away, while I put faith in the lies.

While I believe that I have not found true Joy, or that the pains from today or my past can prevent me from being joyful, I will not find Joy - only the taunts.

I need to stop listening to the lies.

There is One that has undergone pain far beyond anything my mind can understand or imagine - and that One experiences an insurmountable and Eternal JOY.

And He doesn't want to experience this alone...

Nor are we required to wait until a point beyond our own death to do so.

I find Joy in this life that taunts want me to forget:

When I spend time in the morning just sitting with God (see earlier post), or engage in a conversation with a sister or brother, there is simple Joy.

When I share Blessings in rhyme on Twitter, or write stories or blog posts, my husband notes how my face lights up with a big smile.

When I pray, there is Peace. And when I lean into that Eternal Peace and Love, my soul sings with such JOY!

May you share that same Joy, this day and always. It's there for us all ~ reach for it!

What's In a Name

Recently I've been working with Spreading Joy Corp to get a collection of my tweets published as a book. I wanted to publish it anonymously with a small reference to @JesusSister, as the focus - and credit - should be God and Christ, not me.

The proof came from the printer with my full legal name on the cover and book spine. My face fell when I realized this.

I was ready to request my name removed, despite observations that it works well in the cover layout and gives future publications a boost. But before I put my foot down into a bucket of concrete stubbornness, I sought some insight through prayer.

I was overruled. I don't fully know why, but God wants my name there.

I reached a point where I can not always hide behind online names, and must publicly acknowledge what I believe.

In the Northeastern US, we separate business and religious aspects of our lives. With this book published, my legal name will be associated with Christ's teachings, which may hinder applications for Human Resources or management positions.

With all that God gave me, this is a small thing I can offer in return. Did I not say this book should be about God, not me? It's about time that I incorporate that philosophy into the rest of my life. It's about God, not me.

Stepping Back

I've wanted to blog for a while, but nothing was put on "paper" (virtual or not). I have even been remiss in responding to emails and snail mailed letters. I think I finally found what the bottleneck may be.

The issue is... me.

I started a long list of blog ideas, things that I want to write, want to share, and want to say. Once I started that list, nothing was written, for I would turn to that list for inspiration. I did not turn to God.

For my blogs to be effective, I need to step back, turn to God, and ask - respectively, of course - "OK, I understand things don't work well without You. So can you please tell me: What do YOU want me to write about?"

How quickly the ego jumps back in. In writing this post, I included the aforementioned list with elaborations and descriptions. I micro-blogged inside this blog post.

When I realized that the list would put the spotlight back on me and my ideas, and detract from the message this post, I put the delete key to good use.

Let's face it, my understanding is so limited in the grand picture, but God's isn't. Do I want to help others? Or do I want to shine with my own light? Even if I shine for a time, the batteries in my flashlight will eventually die. But God's Wisdom shines with a much greater Light.

For that to shine, all I need to do is step aside.

Heaven and Hell

As I had a brief discourse on Heaven and Hell in a email correspondence and a blog response, I wanted to share this with my readers too.

To many, the concept is that the good go to Heaven, and the bad - especially those for whom we hold a grudge - are condemned to the eternal fires of Hell. But I believe God's plans for everyone to be saved. As God is beyond time, all are already saved. It plays out in time, from our perspective.

Heaven is being with God, completely infused with Love of which we only experience in small part here. There is Peace and Joy complete. There is Life. It is indescribable in the words we use. There is no fear, anger, sadness, loss or pain. There is also no time, for God (and ourselves with God) exist beyond time.

HOWEVER... change can only take place INSIDE time. That is a reason we are in this life experience: to change, and through our learning and changing to grow. Growth requires change; change requires time.

Hell exists, but there is no lake of fire, burning sulfur reeking the air, or red devils with pitchforks to torment our bodies for eternity. Hell is complete and utter separation from God, an awareness that one is cut from Life. It is completely dark, as God is Light. It is very cold to the core of one's being - so cold that it burns. And one deals with the torments of the mind: self-recrimina- tion, self-loathing and self- hatred. Our connections with God (even unconscious) can lighten these self-inflictions. While we experience God to a lesser degree here than in Heaven, the buffer is gone completely in Hell. There is its torment.

So if everyone is saved, why is there a Hell? The answer lies in the moment humanity has called "Judgement." There is no account of bad things done (list of sins). Past mistakes are forgiven through Christ, so they NO LONGER EXIST.
 
Introduced into our minds at the threshold, instead, we are given the Truth -- complete, clear and unhindered. We ourselves make a personal assess- ment and are given a choice. Do we wish to hold on to that which is not the Truth, which are things that our egos (and through our egos the adversary) teach us? Such things include how we see others as well as ourselves. Or do we want to accept the Truth? It is also at this point of death that many, including Atheists, are simply given the proof and understanding that they could not find in this life existence.

We are given the Truth of what we and God really are, that all the "sins" we hold against ourselves ceased to be, and that all grudges we hold against others ceased to be. We can simply and joyfully accept this whole, or make the determina- tion to turn from it and say "I do not want THIS." It is what Christ's teachings refer to as the Unpardonable Sin, as it results in the person being cut from God - in Hell.

Now here is the element of Mercy that many will not agree with: Christ's Forgiveness extends beyond this life and beyond time. That is why His Resurrection, conquering death two millennium ago, can affect all those both before and after - all humanity. His action, His Love and Self-sacrifice extend OUTSIDE of time.

When Yeshua / Jesus said He will be with us ALWAYS, He means ALWAYS - both in this world and beyond - even in the depths of Hell. If we experience Hell beyond this life - HE IS THERE. The teachings say that He passed through Hell following His crucifixion. If this is done beyond time, He is with every soul -- past, present and future -- when they experience Hell.

Because Hell is separate from God, it does not stand for eternity (which is of God), but exists for a time. As long as there is time, there is growth and change. The hand of Christ is always there - outstretched from beyond time, ready to welcome a brother or sister home. Waiting for us to simply CHANGE our mind. By the end of time, we ALL will be in Heaven with God. For when the last soul is home, both time and Hell cease to exist, because there will be no purpose for either.

What are your thoughts?

Forgiveness

Of things discussed yesterday (see prior post), was God's Forgiveness. While some see it as Christ washing our sins away, and others seeing it as Christ's Love standing between us and God, I explained it this way:

God's Forgiveness is such a Wonder. Unlike how we see sin, where we bring it to mind and then try to see past it, God does something different. For when you are told not to think of a pink elephant, a pink elephant is the first thing to pop into the mind - with or without a tutu. So how can one see past a sin, if we focus on it?

God does not bring our sin to mind. Because God is outside of time, it's quite possible for the Divine to reach back into our past and eliminate that sin. It dissipates so it now never existed. It is only our own perception and the adversary's whispers that tell us it continues to exist, to drag us down.

But in truth, we are free. 

Intentions

I got an earful from Yeshua. His  disappoint- ment affects me far more than hours of ranting would, especially when I love and respect Him so much. He was right, though; I screwed up.

Long story short, I focused the spotlight on myself, rather than where it needs to be.

At the fair yesterday, I approached a booth with Jesus' name in reverse-image, challenging one and all to read it.

My plan was to get them into conversation for the sole purpose of showing them my ring with Yeshua's name in Hebrew, to see if THEY could read THAT name.

What am I? Six years old?

While we chatted, my mind focused on the predetermined goal. I was almost oblivious to what was being shared through me. Instead, my goal served to derail something that would have been priceless to share.

While I found myself trying to get the person to STOP reading the highlighted passages from the bible to me, and use his own words, I was not successful. I could have encouraged him to rely on the Spirit within to give him the words to speak, instead of the pre-packaged "how to convert them" spiel.

As my focus was between two goals, I was effective at neither. It was like trying to convince a child that he could ride a bike without training wheels, when the child was ready to throw a temper-tantrum if you approached the bike with a wrench.

You can not serve two masters. You cannot be effective trying to hit two goals either, apparently.

The ring added NOTHING to the conversation, to what I really COULD share with this person. The only reason I approached this tent was to stroke my own ego. 

There, I said it!

I regret that I had that as my intention. I didn't notice the warning shot fired out my own mouth at the conversation's start. At a mention of Jesus' anger toward the Pharisees, I added that it wasn't only because they acted better than the rest (as the Roman leaders did that too). It was because they were chosen to interface between God and man, and they used their positions to seek the fame and stroke their egos, instead of doing what God asked them to do.
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And here I did the same thing... stroking my ego. It's no wonder I got an earful.
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But life continues, and I ascend another stepping stone along the way, even if I happened to trip over it first. :P