Mama Bird

I am really looking forward to today. There's a joyful thrill when I can help in something good that is far larger than just myself. This one holds a special treasure; it involves both helping kids, and helping them help another in need.

Yesterday evening, there was a knock on our apartment door. I opened it to find a gaggle of children holding a large shoebox. They needed help.

It turns out, a couple of days ago, they discovered two baby birds that had fallen from the nest. One, sadly, had died due to internal injuries. But its sibling survived the initial trauma, and they were all helping to nurse it back to health, helping it survive. They named the baby bird HOPE.

Hope was inside this large shoebox, still no more than a ball of fluff with a beak. The kids did the research, and knew the bird had to be fed every half hour, which they could not do with school. So they had gotten one of the neighbors who works as the community's housekeeper to feed it during school hours. But today, she was going on her son's class trip as a chaperone and could not take care of it.

Could we?

 
As my boss is traveling this week, my office should be quiet enough with enough flexibility in my schedule today to regularly stop to tweezer-feed a baby bird. The kids had already carefully researched and prepared the food, handling gloves and all I need for it.

I agreed to "babysit" Hope.

In an hour (6:30 am) the eldest of the kids will be getting on the school bus. On her way to the bus stop, she'll drop off the bird at my apartment. After school, she'll walk to my office (in the neighborhood) and pick up her charge. I think I've just become a baby-bird day care facility. LoL

Something tells me that this mama bird will be remiss when Hope has to leave...

Step-by-Step

Today's blog-post is one of those thinking aloud ones. While I've gone silent on Twitter the last few days, it's because my mode has switched back to finishing the book I promised Spreading Joy Corp. and have started the house-hunt (again). But there is another reason too... a sadness within I cannot seem to shake.

Mother's day had left a few cuts that still sting, especially as I wanted to be a mother desperately but never can be. A friend sent me numerous tweets referencing his blog-posts revolving around the theme of mothers. Someone else sent me a beautiful e-card mentioning how mothers hold a special place in God's heart.

What about those who aren't mothers?

While I believe many of the bible miracles, I still argue that both Sarah and Mary had the equipment necessary to have a child. If I get pregnant following a complete hysterectomy, it would truly be a modern-day miracle. :P

Adoption too, is far beyond my reach financially, as we cannot afford the $30,000 to $50,000 per child. Even if I go through DCF (as we tried to do) we need a home larger than one we can afford in my state. Now with my husband turning 55 tomorrow, another door closes on adoption because we're older than "ideal" age parents. :*(

So the past week was a bit of an emotional drain, but there seems to be a sadness beyond just the holiday and its reminder.

I've learned things,  and seem to have advanced in realigning my thoughts. I've gone through period of extreme doubt, fear... even physical pain when I wrestled with things mentally and emotionally. There was even a topsy-turvy period where I wasn't sure which way I was going and I felt lost, like a penny spun on its edge.

Now there is Peace (with a capital P). There is a whole new sense of awareness of who I am. That I am safe in God's hand. But I can't seem to shake the sadness.

Is the sadness from looking at my brothers and sisters and seeing that some just don't get it, that they are still too focused on the petty things of this world? Is it because I am one of those people still? Yes, still!

Last weekend I found myself whining that I couldn't afford those smart phones to scan the square at a Taco Bell restaurant to get a chance to win an iPad that I couldn't afford either. I b*tched that it wasn't fair that those WITH technology could afford to get even more technology and those of us who cannot afford either are shafted. I was tired and, admittedly, quite vocal about this. I'm sure everyone in the restaurant heard me, not just my husband...

Instead I should have been grateful that I was able to afford the meal that cost $5.00. There are many, MANY who can't afford that - let alone the latest and greatest technology. What is WRONG with me??? :*(

Two steps forward - one step back...

Right now, it feels like I'm in a place between two steps - or two doors if that analogy fits better.

Behind me is the times when I was sad, struggling completely alone and feeling unloved. There was a great deal of pain, fear, hatred, anger... self-loathing. (And I thought menopause was bad.)

Ahead, there is a place where Love immerses the soul so completely that there is nothing but Joy. I know it's there - this is more than just a matter of Faith at this point. It's just beyond my reach. I am not wrapped in its embrace - or to be more accurate, my perception does not enable me to experience the embrace the way I should. But I can feel it there.

It's like the breath in my lungs. It's all around me. It's inside me. It's beyond my perception. It supports me. It brings me life. Yes, I know I'm starting to sound like Sue's blog here (great post by the way). But for me, that is not a new concept of God. I've had that for several years now. My description sometimes is "God expands far beyond the boundaries of all Creation, yet still exists in the space between electrons."

So my awareness that God is within me, surrounding me, connected to me, working through me, yet simultaneously stretching beyond me, has become even more pronounced. This is what brings me Peace (with a capital P). This is what gives me the feeling of safety and security, even when I see the worst news or face terrifying events of this world. There is a calm in the storm much like the eye of hurricane.

I am also aware on a level beyond head-knowing that God is the source of infinite Love and Joy. I feel it like something just beyond the reach of my fingertips. It's there. It's real. But I am not feeling either - yet. 

It's beyond the next door, I think....

I don't know what that will be, or when. I don't know if there is something I still cling to inside that prohibits me from taking that next step. Or it could be something that God has timed to a much greater purpose for this world. 

I really don't know.

That's part of my learning; knowing I don't know. But I do know God has only the best intentions in mind for me. So I cling to the knowledge - and now to the awareness - that there is Love far beyond anything I've experience in this life. That God's infinite Love will bring so much Joy to me and everyone.

All I can do, is charge ahead...

Squish!

As, the caption reads, "Yes, I did have my mammogram today." Or as I like to say among the ladies at work, "I took a break from the office to go SQUISH."

Between my biology and family history, I've a number of medical "factors" that put me at high risk for breast cancer, so I dutifully go at least once per year - often once every six months, as they continually find new and exciting things in those black and white images - starting with my baseline when I was 35!

Am I worried that I'll get it? No.

Odds are very high that I will get breast cancer. It's not quite a guarantee, but for me it's a matter of when rather than if. But I'm not worried at all. Really!

My mother is a breast cancer survivor, both sides, now in her 70's when she was diagnosed before menopause. It's actually one of the most treatable forms of cancer I know; one just needs to make sure you go in for the checkups and routine exams. The earlier anything is caught, the better your chances are. The rest is all about attitude!

Do I have it now? I don't know. But the tech saw something. In fact, I could see something that wasn't there - or at least as prominent - six months ago.

There are women I've known in life that panic and swear they are going to die from the minute anything remotely suggests they may have breast cancer. This is even before the first biopsy. I don't. In my family, we look the doctor in the eye and say, "OK. What are we going to do about it?"

If something does come of this malformation I saw in the image, God, Yeshua (Jesus), family and friends will see me through. I may suffer for a time; I may become sick for a duration if I have to go through treatment. But it is something I can live through.

What if something were to go wrong? What if the treatment doesn't work? What if the cancer spreads?

Unlike many of my other whining worries I post here, this is not one I go through. I know I can get through acute chronic pain and sickness; the last few years of my life have proven that. If anything, my biggest worry would be how do I cover my workload while going through treatment?

What if I die...?

Should I even bother to worry about this? After all, I could get hit by a car walking home today with the same results. I try to live every moment as if it's my last. I try to be prepared, like the ready bride. And if I die, should I be worried? I have a pretty good idea where I am going...

No, I am not worried. I understand that worry is a part of fear. I do not fear this - at all. But I have seen devastating results when people do fear it. But I look fear in the eye and laugh at it!

Let's see how far they can turn my double-D's into pancakes before they squish out the other side of the machine. :P

Time Change

Yesterday, a remarkable thing happened that I want to share with my readers. Not to say my life is any different than yours, but as an example that God can introduce wonders - even small ones - into our lives when we allow it.

My husband and I spent a good deal of time running from one appointment to another, driving  great distances between them. I sincerely doubted we'd be on time for our 3 pm appointment. We had left the prior appointment late and my husband doesn't drive fast. We still had a great deal of mileage to cover and it was already 2:45 according to my watch.

I was tempted to pray, but I hesitated, more than once. The reality check is that I should have spaced the appointments further apart. That was my fault. The beneficiaries of what I was going to pray for would be myself, my husband and the woman we had the appointment to meet. Was that small thing worth asking for a miracle? Why would I even ask for such a thing? Prayers should be for healing, for spiritual help, for comfort - not for asking God to stretch time so we could make our appointment on a Saturday afternoon.

Yes, I did have Faith to understand that God could somehow manipulate time (or road miles) and have us at our designated place in half the the time it would normally take. I had no doubts there, because God is outside time and space. God can do anything.

So, my struggle was whether or not this would be something I could ask? Or would that be the equivalent of a child asking a parent for a dessert five minutes before dinner time?

What would God think of this request from a Child?

A response I received was this (not exactly these words). It does not matter what we ask for. What matters is how we ask and how we respond. We are never to demand anything of God. Yes, we can hold to the Faith that with God nothing is impossible, but we are not to expect God will do everything at our beck and call. God is not a bellhop.

Further, we need to be completely willing to accept God's answer to our prayer, and we have to be willing to let God answer our prayer His/Her way. This includes in God's time. Whether or not the answer is for what we hope, we are always to thank God for the answer with sincere gratitude. As a loving Parent, the answer will always be what is best for us.

OK, I told myself, I am willing to try that. I must sadly admit, I had very significant doubts God would agree to help us in this way. We were only about half way there and it was now 10 minutes to 3 pm.

I closed my eyes and prayed. After all, God knew about my request the moment it popped into my head and I struggled about whether or not to ask. I prayed as humbly as I could, clearly anticipating the answer that time/space would not change, that we would be late.

At five minutes to 3 pm, the rolling sea of highway-side trees continued at their normal pace. I was about to call the woman to tell her we will be late. 

Wait.

I paused, and it came again. Wait.

I waited another three minutes, wondering if things would change. To my perception, they did not. I finally had to admit that the answer would be no.

I took out my cell phone, habitually giving the sides a squeeze, and the front light came on revealing the time from the tower: 2:36 pm.

What?

I looked at the watch on my arm, the second hand continued to tick by at normal speed. I know I had synched up the times when I put it on. And all-mechanical watches like mine slow down, not speed up. But there it was: 2:58 pm.

I glanced again at the cell phone; I had read it correctly: 2:36 pm. I glanced at the GPS in my lap, revealing we had 23 minutes travel time left. This would be close, but we will make it. I closed my eyes in thankful prayer.

God's own way. But time, for me yesterday, did indeed change. :D

God's Messenger

For those who may not know, Hermes (pictured to the left) is the messenger of the gods. Why do I speak about a pagan god when I am Christian? Because it's a good lead into this blog post.

Each and every one of us is also a messenger of the divine.

Some may understand this to mean we have a responsibility to share the gospel or teachings of our particular religion. Others may understand this as a responsibility to spread Light and Love to the world around us.

While it can mean both, there is another role that I and others ended up playing without our awareness. That was as a courier.

Yesterday was a very busy day, starting with inventory reports I sent off at 6:30 am, followed by an off-site breakfast meeting at 7:30 am. Yet at that meeting, a colleague of mine handed me three tickets to the local baseball game. I was the last to arrive at the meeting and she asked everyone else at the table. Could I use the tickets for that night's game?

I accepted the tickets, aware that I couldn't use them myself, as I had a packed schedule through 7:30 pm, but I mentioned I could find someone who could use them.

I swung back to my apartment complex on the return trip to the office, tickets in hand. I gave them to the chief maintenance person, mentioning that they were "Tickets to the Rock Cats tonight." With a smile, he said he knew someone who could use them.

The rest of the story, I heard in hind-sight last night.

That maintenance person would have loved to go to that game, but he had mistakenly heard "The Rockettes" and thought they were for a New York City show, instead of "The Rock Cats" who are a local minor league baseball team. So he gave the tickets to a retired resident in the complex, who would enjoy a drive down to New York for the show.

That person, upon looking more closely at the tickets, realized it wasn't for the New York show but indeed a baseball game, for which he had no interest. So the tickets passed to yet another person, who loved baseball but could not afford even a minor league game.

Someone's day was brightened remarkably when he was handed three tickets to a baseball game, and had no clue in how it came to him save the last leg of the journey.

In fact, I don't even know how my colleague came into possession of those tickets, or how many other couriers were in this relay. But we all played a part as messengers of God, bringing Joy into someone's life.

Until We Meet Again...

Unless one is or was an outcast, it's difficult to understand what it is like: the loneliness. I grew up friendless, yet in high- school's last two years, I had one friend - another outcast two years my junior - who had become closer than a sister to me.

In May before graduation, I lost her.

She was a few months past her 16th birthday; I had not yet reached 18. I was blessed in that we had a chance to say good bye. I still remember some of her parting words: "Our paths will cross a thousand times; they will you know!"

That was 25 years ago.

Since then, I've attended many funerals for friends, co-workers, grandparents, my dad, extended family - even my kid brother who passed away last April...

While we can no longer touch their hand, see into their eyes, or go shopping with them at the local mall, our loved ones are still alive. Because we are all connected beyond time and space, they are still with us as well as existing in a better place.

As I explain to my pre-teen and younger niece and nephews who grieve for their father, our loved ones still live in our memories, our stories and our hearts. Older, I understand now that there are spiritual bonds we make in this life that are still connect us to those who no longer have a heartbeat.

In a few minutes of my dreaming last night, I saw my friend again. I don't know if it was a visit or just a memory - though she appeared different and older than the last time I saw her.

Every once in a while, a pulse of Love will thrum along the connections we share and touch us within a moment of space and time. Our thoughts of love for them will also do the same, back to our loved ones who exist beyond space and time, as we do, with them.

Until we meet again...

Nightmares

My final dream of the night was a nightmare.

I could share the nightmare in detail with my readers, involving swarms of horseflies the size of half-dollars, swarms of ants the size of my palm and this spider that doubled in size each time it bit me and finally grew wings to stay in my face regardless of what I did.

But the essence of this blog post is not to share this nightmare, but a lesson I received as I had awoken from it.

We all have nightmares; I even know those whose nightmares reflect horrific realities in their lives. It's a part of human nature. It's rooted in our fears and played for us in graphic color detail in our dreams. Some, like myself, also have the sensation of touch, taste, smell, and awareness as well as sight and sound.

At the end of the dream, I was staring fixated on the membraned leathery wings that had grown from the back of the spider, one that had grown large enough I could clearly see the two pincers of it mouth and multi-faceted eyes. I was paralyzed with fear. I realized I had no where left to turn, no idea how to stop this thing as each time I tried, it would bite me and double in size.

I was also aware that this was only a dream. So it was time to wake up.

As my eyes fluttered open to see the fickle dawn light illuminating the blinds and hear the steady patter of rain in the alleyway, echoing down the gutters on either side, the nightmare began to fade from my mind.

There was something else too, a ... reaching out. A question. "Why are you so afraid, Child?" My mind gestured to the lingering images of the swarms of bugs and the nightmare spider. "These are not real. Why are you afraid?"

"Because I am human," my mind answered testily, still half-asleep.

"That is no excuse." Pause. "Why do you fear it? Why do you give it power over you?"

My mind started to awaken fully and the nightmare was gone.

Fear.

In dreams or in waking, when we fear something, we give it power over us. Like the spider that would only grow larger each time I tried to swat it or squash it, when we attack what we fear, we acknowledge the belief it can harm us, that it has some measure of control over us. And, in doing so, our perception / awareness of it grows ever larger and more focused. This is true even when we don't acknowledge it to ourselves consciously.

Terrorists use fear all the time and through fear, they change the way we behave and how we view others around us. If you don't believe me, take a walk through airport security.

On the basic level, fear leads to two responses: hide or attack. One prevents us from learning, growing and moving forward. The other divides us from our brothers and sisters, increasing the fear in them and ourselves at the same time. The best answer is to let go of fear altogether. Let fear fade, like the nightmare in daylight.

Within this existence, it is not an easy path. But it's one I am called to walk.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

~Frank Herbert

Bible Babble

Yesterday, I stumbled across a Christian forum that had a debate over which version of the bible was "the right" one. While there was clearly a preference to one version, I found it sad how vehemently they tore apart the other versions. The reasons they found fault with the other versions are the same issues that exists in their own interpretations.

My own studies have led me to this conclusion: NO particular version has it all correct. The bible is NOT a direct transcript from God word-for-word. Neither is the Qur'an, based on some understanding of how God speaks to humanity (please see my post Conversations with Yeshua for more).

The bible versions today have been written, re-written, translated, transcribed and edited. All versions. The majority of readers around the world today cannot read the original Hebrew, Greek or Coptic. In addition, there is much we loose in context, as we are of a different time and culture. An equivalent would be Yeshua (Jesus) telling someone to "google" for the answer. We would understand it, but someone from that time period wouldn't.

In order to glean meaning from the texts, here is what I do. I read ALL versions, such as John 3:16. Furthermore, in order to place the passage in context, I read what is around it. In the case of the previous example, I would read John 3:1-20. Then I would track down all the footnotes, read the cross-references and ask the Spirit that is within us all to help me best understand in terms I personally would know.

Let's not forget the Gnostic Gospels (that were originally removed from the collection to make the New Testament we know today) as well as several Hebrew texts that were omitted from what we know as the Old Testament. Many who fight over which version is the "right one" often forget there was a great deal of editing done far before the King James Version, or even the original Roman Catholic version in Latin.

I believe monotheistic believers haven't strayed very far from our Hebrew roots. We pick passages out and argue about their meaning at great length. Often we overlook the most important aspect when it comes to reading the good book or any other words through which God tries to share a message - be it book, bible, song, tweet or just a chat with a friend.

What we should always do when we try to understand a message from the divine is admit that our understanding is not perfect, that our words are imprecise, that our perspective is unique, and thus different than the writer / speaker - even one in our own land and time.

We need to understand there is a universal message that God wants to share. The only way to understand that message in terms we can comprehend from our own personal perspective is through prayer.

Taking time to talk with God, and - more importantly - taking time to meditate and listen are key. It really doesn't matter which version one reads. What matters is that the reader asks God, "What do you mean by this?" and then stops to listen.

Facing Failings

I keep stumbling over something all the time: my mind keeps focusing on myself. Not others. Not Yeshua (Jesus). Not God. Myself.

There are even times when I'm miles from a mirror and I can picture exactly how I appear. It's like a mental camera following me around, keeping me in the spotlight. I can see the wind playing with loose strands of my hair as I feel it behind my head. I can see how my clothing fits over different parts of my body, making me appear fat or perhaps a bit slimmer when I suck in my gut.

My mind even keeps an image of myself in the forefront when I converse with others, picturing how my facial expressions would be seen by the other, guessing how they would interpret those expressions. I'll even admit, when I tweet or write something, I try to picture how someone will respond to my words, how they respond to ME.

That's the core of several issues - the one thing that causes so many stumbling blocks as I try to learn. The ego keeps my focus on myself. That's not how I need to see things though. 

I need to let go of the ego. Let go of constantly focusing on myself.

I need to refocus my sight on others, or on Yeshua if I cannot keep my thoughts and sights on my brothers and sisters. 

Why is this so hard? Why does it seem that I'm hard-wired this way?

I know we're not.......

I keep checking stats; do people read my posts? How many? I view the number of followers, retweets and favorites; do they like my tweets?

Why does any of it matter?

The message is what should matter. The Love we share with one another. The laughter that helps raise another's spirit. The word of encouragement. The Song that invites others to sing along. God's Love reaching through lives to touch others, to comfort, to encourage.

The spotlight is sweet, but I need to walk away from it to see. Anyone who has stood on stage knows that it's impossible to see the audience with the spotlight in our eyes. Likewise, how will I truly know my readers, my friends, my brothers and sisters, unless I walk out of the spotlight?

I need to shift focus - to you. To the world. To God. With all my mind and heart.

Good Bye FaceBook

While I made some protests last week that if FaceBook doesn't let users opt out of the new timeline by the end of the month, I'd leave.

This morning, however, my mind was completely made up. I wasn't waiting. I posted that I'll be closing my account Friday and started saying my goodbyes to friends I've made over the last few years.

The new timeline annoys the crap out of me; images are chopped, and game posts are practically impossible to access. Plus I noted that all my personal pictures were made viewable to EVERYONE on the internet - not "friends-only" as my account was originally set up. FaceBook also announced to the world (via "map") every location I've mentioned at any time in my account.

The timeline, privacy issues, and acknowledgment that I spend way too much time on Farmville are the reasons I've given to friends as to why I'm leaving FaceBook. For the most part, they are.

But I cannot understand why I suddenly changed my mind about when to stop. Why do I feel this undeniable urge to close my account this week?

I know I've missed a few days on Twitter recently, but is that the reason? Do I need to spend more time on Twitter?

Or is something else in my life about to open up?

All I can do is take God's hand and trust that (S)He knows where we're going.

Power of Belief

All through Yeshua's (Jesus') life in this existence, He performed wonders, including healing and even raising Himself and others from the dead. Yet, there were also times when He tried, but the miracle failed to materialize. That was because those around Him failed to believe - their Faith mattered.

The opposite is also certainly true, as in the case of the woman in the image above. She believed so sincerely that all she had to do was touch the hem of His clothes and she would be healed. She was.

While we no longer see Yeshua walking around our towns, villages and cities today, we can still have that Faith. He taught: If we believe anything strong enough, it will be. That includes something as incredible to us as to those of His time, making the mountains move. As I mentioned in my prior blog post (No Credit), this can have negative as well as positive influences in our life.

Here, though, I would like to emphasize the positive ones.

Yeshua does still help us - every one of us - as much as we let Him. Yes. We must let Him, for He will not go against our own will.

He is very willing to place Himself directly between us and that which will bring us fear, pain and loss. But we need to let Him do things God's way. If we insist on a time, place and procedure, we may likewise see miracles fizzle out to nothing.

I will be the first to admit, giving up my will completely is far from easy. It's so much easier to ask for something to be done a particular way (i.e. heal a person now), rather than just a simple plea, "Help us."

How much we let God's influence and help into our lives is a matter of two things:

1. We must believe it can be done.
2. We must completely give up our independent will.

This does not mean giving up "free will." Free will is our ability to choose to think with God or think independent of God. While this may sound close to hive-mind or mob-mentality, it is far different in experience. (See my post Just Be for more.)

How do we know our will is in alignment with God's? There is Peace; often there is Joy. There is connection to others all around; level connections where one is neither above nor below. There is no anxiety, and never any fear. If there is, we have not fully relinquished our independent will over a situation. And doing so CAN scare the crap out of us. But only at the start of the first step, then there is Peace.

This is not a constant state of mind, at least not for me yet. It does change, moment-to-moment depending on the situation and my thoughts and feelings. Each moment I must decide - over and over again - to set my own independent will aside. I must let that part of me be as still and silent as death.

And I must believe with all my mind, heart, and soul that God will help me, guide me, and be the strength that I need. (S)He is ready to do that for each and every one of us.
.
We need to believe...

And let go.
.
God will catch us.

No Credit

I have a friend who sincerely and wholeheartedly believes every "bad" thing that happens in his life is caused by the devil. This can range from the devil caused the tornado to drop a tree on his car, to the devil manipulated ("forced") his wife to leave him, to the devil made him step on a keyboard that he left on the floor.

While I shake my head at times, wondering if this person would ever take any credit himself, I have realized I must check my own thoughts too.

Granted, there are many things I chalk up to my own clumsiness, not paying attention or similar "faults" of my own design. For example, just before writing this blogpost, I brushed my teeth and accidentally dropped the toothbrush right next to the toilet on a floor whose cleaning is well past due. I can bemoan that, "the devil made me do it!" Or I can pick up the toothbrush and clean it off. I can even make a mental note that I need to schedule some time to clean the bathroom.

But other times I will wonder, how much of our lives are truly influenced by the adversary, devil, dark force, dark energy, etc.? That such exists, I can not deny. In fact, I sincerely admit Yeshua told me such exists. Yet, there is another element we don't easily see or acknowledge...

Elanor Roosevelt said it succinctly: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." This works in both our interactions with our brothers and sisters as well as the spiritual realm. In the case of my friend, he has handed his entire life - lock, stock and barrel - into the hands of that which he calls his "enemy." Ironically, in doing so, he has actually opened himself completely to the influence of that which he fights.

When something "bad" happens in my life or in the lives of others, I have started to train my mind to think differently. I will not see the pain as a result of the adversary's work. I will not lay the blame at the feet of those who suffer; I will not lay blame at all. Yeshua (Jesus) teaches we should not judge, after all.

But most of all, I will not - never, ever, ever, ever again! - give the b*tch credit. Yes, I said b*tch, little asterisk and all. After all, we truly do not know gender of angels - fallen or not. In fact, they may not have a gender at all. But the "devil" is well known for wrecking havoc in countless lives through lies, deception and manipulation. Right? And let's be honest, ladies, we women are better known for this as well. So I will call her the b*tch I see her as. :D

But I digress, the main thrust of this post is simply this: Do not give credit for any thing you see as "bad" or "evil" around you to that which you consider the devil, adversary, dark-entity, etc., even if you reasonably argue that something should be laid at it's feet.

Why?

We - each and every one of us - are children of God. We retain some gifts of which our awareness is thickly, if not completely obscured. One of these gifts Yeshua (Jesus) has taught in the gospels, as well: If we believe something strong enough; it will be.

Think about that.

Now ask yourself - as honestly as possible; I'm not going to check your answers - how much of your life do you believe is controlled or influenced by the "devil" (or however your conceive such an entity to be)? How much do you see the lives of others being influenced by temptations though this entity?

Think about that.

Now, step-by-step as I currently do, try to change your mind every time similar thoughts enter your mind. Any - and every - time you see the "devil's work" I want you to stop and change your mind. I want you to tell yourself, like I do, "I am not going to give that b*tch the credit." Sometimes the best way to do so is not to lay the blame anywhere.

For in doing so, my sisters and brothers, we are actually removing that entity's ability to influence those in this world. We have inherited that power. We have the power to strengthen the entity's ability, which we have done for countless generations in time. Now, with this generation, let us truly weaken that ability, possibly even sever it completely. Let us not believe in the adversary's influence, through which, we do weaken it in our own lives AND in the lives of others. We reduce fear, trepidation and wariness of each other. We erase dividing lines. We stand as one, in love and compassion... as children of God.

This is something, though, that needs be done both individually and hand-in-hand, together. For we are one.

Spread the word.

Believe you can.

And Don't give the b*tch credit!

Suffering

At times my thoughts wonder about suffering in this world. I have pain, illness and tragedy in my own life. I've seen it in countless other lives too. Is there a purpose? Is there something we can do?

Suffering can be long and drawn out, like cancer, depression or poverty. It can come on suddenly, like a fire, flood, accident or natural disaster. But at some point, it will touch each and everyone's life.

Some believe it is punishment from the Divine. I do not agree.

Some believe it is something we bring down on ourselves. In some cases, this may be true, like one driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. But why would others suffer for their actions too?

Some believe it's used to teach humanity. Ahh! I can understand that.

• Losing loved ones teaches us to better see, appreciate and strengthen the connections to the ones we still have here.
• Losing our personal possessions teaches us that there are things of this world that we can live without. In fact, there is a lot in this world we cling to that we shouldn't.
• Illness helps us appreciate our moments of health, and gives us empathy for others who are suffering.
• Having little or nothing, does the same. We appreciate what little we have all the more, and empathize with others who are likewise. Those with little will often give a greater percentage of what they have compared to those who have a lot.

I have also wondered if there was something more than this though... If we suffer and learn the lessons, why do we continue to suffer? Why have some suffered their entire lives?

As a Christian, I will always be bombarded by reminders about how much Yeshua (Jesus) the Christ suffered for the sins of the world, through humiliation, rejection and crucifixion.

Can our own humble suffering do the same, even if on a smaller degree?

In my other blog's post Steps to Heaven, I share one answer I have found. In short, our suffering creates opportunity for others to be kind, help, and do good in this world. Through it, another ascends the steps to Heaven.

I have also read teaching that we can offer our suffering for those in purgatory, as a means of getting them through their personal suffering and reach Heaven faster. Can we not likewise offer the same as a means to spiritually help our brothers and sisters who currently walk the world with us, or even those who have yet to be born? After all, God and much of the spiritual side of our nature is actually outside of space and time.

Please let me note: I do not not mean that one should cut, self-mutilate or otherwise inflict corporeal punishment on oneself. Personally, I find that disturbing and cannot see any good from it, other than the fact some do it out of their Love for God. They mistakenly believe it is what God and/or Yeshua wants of them, to share in Christ's suffering in that way.

Others do it because they hate their flesh, which is equally sad and mistaken. Some hate the flesh because they hate themselves; such self-loathing is a suffering illness itself. :*(

The other mindset is because people want to punish (or "correct") the flesh, not understanding that the flesh is not what they believe. The ego / self-pride is the source through which we are tempted. The body is a tool through which we interact with our brothers and sisters in this existence. It does not control us unless we believe it controls us. In which case, we are punishing the body for our belief that we are controlled by it; and in turn only hurt ourselves more. :*(

But aside from this practice, there is and will be suffering in our lives. We can let it wither our spirit as well as our strength, or we can find a way through which even our suffering can be used to a greater benefit for all.