What Happened?

The last few days I wondered... Did I do something wrong? Did I offend? Did I say too much? Was I expected to say more? One that included me in tweets on a daily basis, even through my long hiatus from Twitter, had suddenly stopped.

What really bothers me the most is not the lack of mention; I'm overwhelmed by the number I receive daily. I try to personally respond - in rhyme - to every mention, response, re-tweet and favorite, or at least once per person. And I do so with a great deal of consideration and love in each, taking several hours each day.

What hurts is that I am no longer asked to join in prayer. I've kept up with the prayers, as the requests still show in my timeline and lists.

But I am the outcast.

I cannot help but wonder, is this person mad at me? Did I do something wrong?

I've prayed; I asked Yeshua. There was a suggestion that it may have been a mistake. The change happened right after he sent out a praise report that my pain was gone. Perhaps the lists are just copied/pasted from the last "blast" and my name was unintentionally dropped...

Twice, I started to DM this person to ask about the change; twice words failed me at the attempt. In one, I simply mentioned I was praying for those requested.

I can't shrug off this feeling that maybe I did something wrong. In silence, I keep wondering if he felt I offended him with something I've said - or even not said. I did thank him... Perhaps he got the wrong idea when I replied to those who responded to his praise report. They copied me, showed up in my @-stream, so I responded to the sender AND him, as I do for the others there. Maybe the words used rubbed him the wrong way...

Each time I stream out responses on Twitter, I ask for God's guidance. This wouldn't be the first time words brought bad feelings - - unintended. 

There is Love, and I try to sing that. But I will admit, some words do have a bite too. I've learned to keep some of those to the side, where I mention no one in particular, so they feel like I am attacking them. But I need to let the words flow and not edit them in stream. The rhymes are meant as reminders for us all, sisters and brothers - and myself. Yes, a lot of what flows from my fingertips applies to me too. There are lessons for me in those rhymes that I go back and read. Many I don't realize are there until I hit "Send," then sit back and say, "Wow!... Thank you."

I don't really know what happened. I don't understand why I can't DM this person to straighten it out. For once, it feels more like I'm guided away from doing so, rather than fighting the fear like before.

I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want anyone to be mad. But I don't want to stop singing because someone didn't like what I said or how I said it. It crippled me a few times when I was a fledgling on Twitter.

I need to be more concerned with keeping my heart open to God's Love, letting it flow, rather than what someone thinks of the messenger...

...though part of me still wonders, What happened?