Mission Trip

Last Friday, I received a call from a representative of Global Expeditions to see if I was interested in a mission trip to my old stomping grounds: New York City. It's a trip coordinating efforts of K-Love Radio & Metro Ministries of NYC. I had sent in an application last year, right before my little brother died in April; I had to tell them "Not this year," when they called last year.

This year, they called asking if I wanted to be a Team Leader. There are 26-30 missionaries per trip, 6-8 missionary leaders and two team leaders (one male, one female). I later learned that the missionaries are all teenagers (13-18 years old); mission leaders are college aged. I'm 42 years old, old enough to be their mother, maybe even grandma... They want me to lead a mission when I have never - EVER - been on a mission trip before. All I kept thinking was that I was "Unqualified."

I talked it over with my husband as well as someone I trust on Twitter. It was pointed out that I DO have the experience. I'm a Director of Operations at work, I've coordinated volunteers at fur-fandom conferences that were up to several thousand attendees. I managed children's activities within the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). The list goes on, as far back as my training in 4-H at 16 years old as a CIT (Counselor in Training). So I do have experience.

It was also pointed out that if God was calling me for missionary work, I was ready. Period. What I needed would be provided - even the funds...
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That was the other thing I balked about - the price tag that comes with missionary work: $1,650 (US), not counting an additional $1,000 or more in airfare and transportation costs to/from Dallas for orientation. The funny thing is New York City is comparatively in my back yard, I can either drive 2 hours or take the commuter train down to it.

That and $1,650 is a lot of money for us, it's one month's rent. Since I had no raise four years in a row, while rent, food, and cost of living kept going up, we barely break even each month. Even if we only pay for essentials, it would take 16-1/2 months to save up for the trip. We don't have cable/satellite TV, new technology, like a smart phone (or even cell phone) or flat-screen TV. We still watch movies on a VCR (video tapes) and my husband still has a working 8-track tape player. Granted, we have both CD's and vinyl records and a few DVD's. We're not THAT far behind... But we joke that if someone ever broke into our apartment to rob us, they would LEAVE stuff because they felt sorry for us. For example, the TV in the bedroom is dual dial (UHF/VHF), purchased before the remote control was invented and still uses rabbit ears antenna, as does the TV in the living room.

Sigh.

I know I shouldn't gripe that I don't have the latest-and-greatest when so many don't have a regular meal or a place to call home. But sometimes I do get bitter that I see others have so much more. I go into a rant when I cannot get a sale price at a store because I don't have a cell phone that reads those digital squares. Envy creeps up each time I hear DJ's on K-Love (Christian radio station) discuss all the latest apps on their new iPhones...or when they discuss watching the Superbowl on a large flat screen TV. The newest TV I have has a green blotch near the middle and was inherited when my grandmother passed away 15 years ago... I don't know how old it is, but unlike the other, this one does have a remote control.

It can be frustrating, first because I feel unfairly left behind, then I feel guilt/remorse because I let myself go through a bout of technology envy, especially when I cannot forget that I have a roof over my head, I have food (even if from the stale/old racks at the back of the store), I have a working vehicle (even if it's 15 years old, rusting and has no working radio).

There are so many with so much less. The missionary trip idea was to reach out to those with less.. But I may not have enough to do so. Ironic, isn't it?

The third issue with the trip was the length of time. I thought it was a week long, but it's a two-week period. I can swing one-week vacation. I may even negotiate one week without internet access to get emails remotely for work. But I cannot leave work undone for 2 weeks. The half-a-month work stoppage would cripple the company. There are only two of us, and the boss cannot even fold a UPS carton by himself. He proved this the day he called - twice - while I was giving the eulogy at my father's wake. Yes, just to ask how to fold a UPS box.

I am sorry this is a bitter and sour post. For some reason I am in a bitter and sour mood today. Maybe it's the stomach flu and feeling feverish. But I think something else is bothering me, but I cannot seem to put my finger on it. That's likely why I turned back to this blog today.

I'm searching for answers...