Confession

This morning on the walk to work, I swung by a local church and picked up a bulletin. I need to look up when they have Confessions (Penance) scheduled. About two decades ago, I made a determination that I do not need to see a priest to confess my sins. I can talk directly to God. I can speak directly to Yeshua (Jesus). I do not need an intercession. At the start of this week, I was asked to go.

The Lamb wants his Bride and his Church reconciled.

While raised Catholic, there are several points I disagree with the Church's point of view. Without going into a long list of items, I will go right to the point of contention between my Brother (Yeshua) and I: I need to forgive the Church. Period. 

Going to Confession will be a step toward this. All I will say before a priest has already been confessed to Yeshua directly, but He asked me to do this. So I grudgingly trumped down to the church and picked up a bulletin. They only have confessions at 3pm on Saturdays - rather inconvenient in my mind, especially as my husband wants to go hiking those days while the weather holds nice, or the movies when it rains. I guess if I make a choice to follow Yeshua, I need to make some time for Him too. I'll try to get Confessions on the schedule when my husband & I sit down to our weekly planner-sync today at lunch. He already knows I want to go.

It also occurred to me that there is a broader lesson here. It's not just reconciling myself to the Church. In fact, I noted some bitterness that the Church doesn't even know I'm detached. In fact, there are MANY who are disenchanted, disengaged and detached. Many are faithful and close to Christ and follow Him outside the church. My husband suggested I talk to a priest about this. I balked at this idea. But it does have some merit.

There is also the concept of forgiving a group, an institute, an organization - a collective group of people who act as one. The church is one. Corporations are another. Yes, there is A LOT that I hold against corporations, especially those in America and how they are cruel, callous and heartless to the common man. Now they are so deep in the pockets of political leaders - here and abroad - that the laws favor them over the individual hoping to maintain basic human rights... 

This, too, needs to be forgiven. It doesn't matter if they are right or wrong. I need to be forgiving and still strive to find some good in them - even the faceless of an organization. The Church is only one of many.

*Sigh*

On the way to the church, my mind was arguing (stubborn as I am). I debated that I was already forgiven, that I had already confessed to Christ directly. Why do I need to Confess to the Church? An answer came back, Why did Yeshua need to be Baptized? The answer is simply, He was following God's Will. Who am I do NOT do the same???

I lifted my eyes at that moment. Across the street where I was walking was a small Ukrainian Church. The rising sun was barely clearing the horizon at that very minute, only the very top of the steeple was lit. A gold-plated cross blazed brilliantly in the light. The rest of the world around me was still in the shadow. Was that a sign? Something in me said it was. 

Doubt faded as I crossed the street and read the name on the sign: "St. John the Baptist." 

*Smile*

Yes, God is active in my life. I should never doubt that. My life can only be better when I follow God's Will rather than my own. So, just like the little girl in "A Miracle on 34th Street" I'll go along with the plan saying "I believe, I believe. It's silly, but I believe..." :D

Though, in my heart, I know even if it seems "silly," I'll be taking an important step away from my ego and closer to God and my Brother. :D