Praise Reports

Following prayers, sometimes - though not often - I get praise reports. These are when someone reveals how a prayer was answered. Usually this is from some pastor who has requested prayers for another; sometimes by the person privately. As I stated in my last blogpost, even when I "feel" which way a prayer will be answered, there is always doubt in my mind.

Thus I will say nothing to the person other than " I am praying for you."
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When I received a praise report where they called it "praise report" for the first time. I had a jumble of emotions. First, I was glad; it was good news. Then I racked my mind to see if it matched the "feeling" I may have had when I prayed for that particular request. Honestly, I could not remember. Then part of me argued boastfully, "I do not need to see these praise reports. If God wants me to know, I know. I know Pari hears all my prayers; that is sufficient!"

But another part of me - a part that was being more honest than boastful quietly countered this. "No. I do need them. There is still a great deal of doubt in me. I need these praise reports as witnesses. I need some confirmation for the part of me that deals in THIS life existence to see. I need witnesses to testify that Pari does hear me, and that He does answer prayers."
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It is a bitter pill for the pride in me to swallow, but it is the plain truth. It's a part of being human.

Prayers

When someone asks me to pray, I do so ~ often on the spot. 

Unlike some, I do not raise my hands that pray aloud or use fancy words. Growing up, no one around me did that. At Catholic Mass we said the same prayers week-after-week, the same responses to the point of memorization. Even when we (rarely) said the blessing before the meals, it was a memorized prayer. But I have seen other Christians "pray over someone" or "invoke the Holy Spirit" to action. Some of these prayers - though not many - sound like they are barking orders to God.

*Shudder* I don't know if I will ever become comfortable with that. 

Then there are ones that I have heard pray aloud - humbly - and ask for Pari's (God's) help. Reverently. These are shining stars to me. Not often, but sometimes I can feel another praying likewise silently in their heart, like soft, warm air flowing gently outward from them.

When I pray, for myself or for another, mostly it is silent. There are times I pray aloud, in song, in communal prayers, or shared prayers such as at meals with my husband, where we sometimes add things to the blessing, such as "please help those outside on such a cold night tonight." 

When I pray for another, I take the time apart whatever I am doing and ... extend my thoughts to Pari. Then I reach out toward the person who asked for the prayer. Often I can feel some aspect of the person: vague emotions, such as fear, desperation, sadness, worry, flickering hope... It's not like I read minds; I just feel some small connection with the person. Then I pray with them, for them, to Pari, asking for help. Usually I request something specific, but I always ask that Pari's Will be done.

I know that sometimes that means the person is not going to get what (s)he wants. Sometimes there is something better in not getting what we want. I ask also that Pari reach out to the person, give Hope, give Comfort, give Patience, give Courage... whatever is needed in that moment. Sometimes it is also a matter of Pari reaching out to the people around that person, working through them and helping them as well. It is not easy for a parent of a young child to stand beside a hospital bed not knowing if their offspring will take another breath...Or if the bills will be paid.... Or if they will never see someone they love deeply again... Or that they can get through any number of life's trials... 

So many prayers needed...

When I pray, sometimes, but not as often as I would hope to have, I can tell which way the answer will fall. Sometimes there is an immediate ... "feeling" (for lack of a better word) ... that the prayer HAS been answered. The person will get better; the teenager will come back home, the feeling of Hope will return, whatever the case may be... I just get this feeling that it has been accomplished.

Sometimes there is the opposite; it will not come to pass as requested, yet Pari will be with them and others to help them through this time in life. At times I will be aware of Yeshua (Jesus) reaching toward their hearts.

Most times, though, when I pray, I get no response at all, save "fax transmitted successfully..." to use a contemporary analogy. I do not know the outcome, but I know with certainty that Pari has heard me.

I have also come to realize, without any doubts, that prayers do work outside of time. We understand things in a linear manner. For example, if there's a need, we hear about, pray about it and it's then the prayer is answered. Well, Pari is outside of time. So the prayer may be accomplished even before there is a need. Or we can pray after the answer has been witnessed, and our prayers will be heard and acted upon. So these things may not occur in the order we understand them. Thus if I receive a prayer request from several days ago, I still pray then. God works outside of time to answer it.

Freak out Follow Up

Normally I am a calm, friendly person; then once in a while I start freaking out. Yesterday was apparently one of those days. Lesson for day: Don't ask Pari (God) for something unless you mean it. I guess that is two-fold. The first is that something different happened when I asked, "What is Your will?" The second was this simple request.

If I am truly being guided, I pray Pari sends me some reassurances.

That was at the bottom of yesterday's blogpost. I received the reassurances - in spades.

Starting with the long-winded comment sent following the Blessed Be tweet, I received this response:

..i must be doing good if f i inspire flow, just so You know.. thank you so.. Blessed for Your Kind Attention.. Jah Love, ma friend ;***>

I looked up "Jah Love" this morning. Originally I thought it was a typo or something; apparently it's a shortening of "Jehovah" (a.k.a. God, Yahweh, the Father, Abba, and Pari).

Then I also received a message from the woman to whom I sent the video link:

I'm sorry I took so long to view! You really blessed me with this, life can seem so CRAZY at times,cause this isn't home.Much love & thanks! I so appreciate your loving heart, God used you to reach out to me just when I needed it! So look forward to meeting you in heaven...Linda

Two-for-two. Now here is the response from the one I sent the blog link too, both Twitter response and lengthy comment:

I posted a comment to your blog. I followed your blog as well. I really like your poems :) Absoloutely Beautiful

Thank You :)
You have a blessed insightful way about you. You have been blessed with the gift of discernment.
It is obvious that your loving & caring ways are from a heart & mind that has been graced by the knowledge & wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
Every emotion has it's season; even anger. Yes, anger is a dangerous emotion; one that needs to be reined in to never let it become out-of-control. Sometimes that is easier said than done. Paul tells us that we must bring every thought into captivity.
When someone has enemies it is not always because that person has made the choose (whether consciously or not) to hate. Enemies are often times made to be enemies by thier declaration. Anger can be used for survival, to not lose heart in the battle. Not anger towards a person or enemy but anger at the injustice; in order to correct the social injustices which you so eloquently speak of.
God Bless you sister & thank you.
Peace be with you,
Steve

If this wasn't enough, the tweet sent to me that caught my eye before starting this blog post mentioned angels again, from a different person...

The angel of the Lord guards all who fear him & he rescues them~Ps 34

As this blog is not directly connect to my Twitter account, like my other blog, there is no way these people are following up on yesterday's post.

That only leaves one other option open; Pari was letting me know it's OK.

So I raise my little white flag. I give up. I give in. 

I will follow where Pari leads.

Running Scared

It's been suggested that I ask Pari (God), "What is your will?" at the start of the day or whenever I feel troubled with life's distractions. I've tried this the last two days and it has left me quite frightened and second-guess a lot of what I am doing.

Let me take a couple of steps back. Yesterday morning, among my tweets was a response to someone who ended their tweet to me with "BlessedBe." I do have Wiccans among my friends so I understood what it was, a kind greeting not too different than "Shalom" and "Aloha." So I wanted to tweet something along the lines of that greeting and this just rolled out of me:

Blessed Be, my friend, all of your days.
Blessed Be, dear one; may Light guide all of your ways. :D

Dear one? I don't even call my husband, "Dear one." Where did that come from. Right after typing it, i realized something reached through me, with Love, to send that message to the recipient. While I understand Pari as both male and female, I guess my mindset is still very rooted in Christianity. Has some aspect of Pari, this "Goddess," just tapped me while I was typing that tweet? 

Shaken by that, and quite busy at work, I cut my twitter usage short and stepped away. In the evening, I resumed, trying to keep that particular tweet from my mind. In the second run I felt a strong desire to share a particular video with another. She had often mentioned that she cannot wait to be in Christ's arms. So I sent a link to the video for one of my favorite songs, Mark Schultz' "Back In His Arms Again."

♫ I believe that He never let you go. ♫ I believe that He's wanting you to know..♫
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLFPpOCORs0 ♫ (M. Schultz)

The recipient replied right away saying that she will listen to it right after dinner. That was last night I haven't heard back from her since then...

This morning, there was a response to a tweet that mentioned Forgiveness.

Forgiveness in my heart towards my enemies, yes; with Love & a Pure Heart.

Forgiveness in court for their crimes, no. #Justice

I tried hard to focus on work this morning after reading that, but what I ended up doing, after  I paused to pray for guidance a few times, was writing a lengthy post for my other blog. I think the title: Forgiveness & Fight, needs to be changed, but I read over the blog numerous times. It stands pretty much as written here.

Then I spent the rest of my day worrying about that!

I usually avoid political  / social commentary. I am actually quite shy and for me to stand there and say things that will quite easily upset readers - then SEND it to someone via DM on Twitter, plus post it to my Twitter account... What am I doing???

Late this afternoon, a friend sent me this by Twitter's private message (DM):

Angels Walk Among Us. You Can Recognize them By the Light in Their Eyes :0)

What is that about? I didn't mention anything about angels in either the stories I sent her nor any recent tweets. Is she hinting that she thinks I'm an angel? I'm NOT! I'm human! Just like everyone else. Or is she hinting that she's one? She also tweeted to me, but something along the lines of "creative people."

I'm afraid to ask her about it in my current mindset. I've already made a mess of things as you can see below...

I'm scared. Quite frightened. I fear loosing friends, followers, making enemies, yes I know this is the ego. It feeds on this fear and hope to have a "nice reputation" in this world. I know I am called to step away from this world's spotlight. Fine. I'll sit quietly then.

But somehow I wonder if "quiet" is part of Pari's plan for me...

I asked for help; I asked to be guided to do God's Will. Why am I so frightened then?????

I actually semi-backpedaled on two of the strange things above. As I have not heard from any of the recipients, I thought to "smooth over any ruffled feathers" or ease some bad feelings. All I really wanted to do was share smiles and blessings. Not attack. Some have seen my tweet as an attack in the past...

So to the woman whom I sent the video, I sent the  private message:

I hope sending you that song was OK. It's one of my favorites & came to 

mind w/your tweets re: being in His arms. Wanted to share it w/you. 

Then I really lost my nerve and started yabbering away like an idiot to the one I sent the Blessed Be tweet to:

Hi. I hope sending you that last tweet @ you was OK. It rolled from /
thru my heart as typed. I only meant to send you blessings.

Having Wiccan friends, I understand the greeting 

"Blessed Be", but that tweet just... rolled out of me. 

What I'm dancing around is this. While I am not anythings special, 

something reached thru me, with Love, toward you in that tweet...

I don't even call my husband "dear one" & it's kinda frightening me. 

I hope it did not upset or estrange U.I just meant to send U blessing.

YIKES! What is WRONG with me. Trying to "fix" things is only making it worse. :(  I'm going to leave it as that. The blogpost... I'll sleep on it. But fear is making me do all sorts of stupid things today. 

If I am truly being guided, I pray Pari sends me some reassurances. 

I'm scared stupid right now. 

I know I shouldn't be...

But I really don't know what to do. Go with the flow or play by "normal" rules in this life...

Lessons in Listening

Yesterday we drove out to my in-laws for New Year's Day. We took my husband's old mini-van, which - like my Jeep - has no working radio. So we filled the long drive with conversation. Part of that conversation, I wish to share here.

At one point, he changed topics and out of the blue says, "You know when you were praying the other day at your mother's, I went in and touched you on the shoulder. It was different than when I touch others when they pray or meditate. Usually there is a sense of peace. There was no peace in you."

I responded, "Well, that was right after I listened to a lengthy tirade from my mother (who spent a great deal of time griping about her neighbors, friends, family members and others), and I was struggling to get some of that negativity out of me."

He added that when I was praying, I was curled up in a ball. "Most people when they pray or meditate are open. You were closed, cutting off the world. When one is in an open posture, you are open to the universe and all that is in it, including other people. God IS the universe. But you were curled in a ball, cutting off everything. You were struggling, but you were also closed."

I was silent a moment, not sure how to respond and, instead of letting it sink in, I started to reply with how I was struggling to find some Peace after my mom's tirade. But that even sounded lame in my ears. Who was I fooling? No one apparently. He was right, I was cutting off everything, curling into my shell and hiding. Trying to struggle with the negativity by myself even while I prayed for help.

Where I had fallen silent, he added, "There is nothing wrong with what you have done. Turning to God in prayer and meditation is the right thing to do. But there may have been a better way to do it. That's all. While bowing your head low and being humble before God is a good thing, you also need to be open to God. Sometimes that means straightening your posture and raising your head, letting God flow into you and through you. Picture the lotus position some meditate in."

There was nothing I could do but agree with this. His words were right. But there was also resistance in me. Who did my husband think he is? Why is he taking a smarter-than-me stance?

Why did I not see until later that those questions - that resistance - was from my own petty ego? 

Pari (God) works through me; Pari works through him too. Pari's Spirit (the Holy Ghost / Holy Spirit) works through everyone, helping us - and helping others through us - learn and grow. We are supposed to help each other; this is part of Pari's Plan.

I really need to learn to listen more and set my ego aside. Things would be much better in the end if I set aside "me" and listened to Pari's Wisdom when I encounter it.

Death Dreams

Rarest of all my dream categories are death dreams. This is what started this urge to blog today. I had a death dream just prior to waking this morning.

Death Dreams are exactly what it sounds like, I die in the dream. I believe I have now had two dreams where this has happened. It usually starts out as a normal Everyday Dream and something happens where I die. Then the dream-self becomes aware I have died and it kinda turns into a Learning Dream, but there is no corporeal sensation.

To save time and space, I will not go over all the details of this dream. But toward the end of this dream... I was walking along the back edge of my mother's backyard, though it was far larger than it is in this existence. But, as I said, my dream-self has different memories and it seemed correct. Along the border where there is in this existence a wooden fence between her and a neighbor's backyard, there was no such fence. So I could see into her yard through the tree trunks. This is no surprise, as my mother spent a good deal of our visit griping over the trees in that neighbor's year and how she's forever picking up branches, twigs and leaves from the neighbor's trees. This is typical of the Everyday Dream where my mind is working over experiences in this existence.

Then, in the dream, I spied a off-white dog; what appeared to be part-husky, part-samoyed and quite large. It was odd in that it had near-fluorescent orange highlights in patterns on its face and chest - almost pretty against the off-white fur. The dog was in a tiny chain-link fence enclosure, that seemed absurdly short as it only stopped just over the dog's head. I shrugged it off and continued along the back edge of the yard.

Something in the dream ... changed. I could see it ripple across the dream.

The dog growled low and became even larger, hoping easily over the fence toward me. Realizing this had changed to a Learning Dream, I focused my mind to calmness and benevolence and offered the dog my hand (palm downwards as I've been recently taught) and let it sniff me. The dog seemed more wolf than dog, similar to my friend's part-wolf samoyed. So I kept eye contact and backed away slowly, calmly and showed no fear. The dog seemed content and walked away back to its yard.

I turned and continued down the side of my mom's house toward the front where my husband, niece and mother were waiting for me as we had some more work to do in the garage. When I was about three-quarters of the way to the front of the house, there was a growl from behind me. The dog was back, now practically fully wolf except for the bright orange markings. It's head was low and it's teeth bared.

I heard my husband shout for me to run, which is what we're not supposed to do, but.. I tried to run. My legs moved as though I was in thick molasses. All my strength amounted to miniscule movements. I was too slow! The wolf caught up with me. Paws hit my back and through me to the ground as I turned to look over my left shoulder.

It was too late; the wolf had me by the throat from behind. There was no pain. There was no fear. Yeshua was standing before me with His hand extended. I grasped it and stood up, realizing something felt different. He told me I had died. I went to turn around to see if I cold see my body and He placed a restraining arm across my shoulders, insisting that I don't look. I got the impression that the wolf had eaten my face; I wasn't going to see that.

But I was for certain dead. There was no corporal sensations. It was calm and Peaceful. I realized I only had a few moments. I opened my mom's front door and went to leave her something in parting. I could see the wide terrified eyes of my husband, mom and niece as the door opened "on it's own." I was saddened that I didn't / couldn't say goodbye.

I woke up.

Alive.

Nesting Dreams

Nesting dreams often accompany Learning Dreams, though sometimes they also have a lesson of their own to teach.

Nesting Dreams are those where I wake up from one dream and find myself in another dream. This can be just once or through a whole series of dreams.

In the dreams where I am aware I am dreaming, I can wake myself up. ... usually. But sometimes I wake up and find myself in another dream. There are many times near the end of the nesting dream line where I am waking up in the same room that I have gone to bed. This can either be my own bedroom, a room at a friend's or family's home where I am spending the night, or even a hotel room of which I've only experienced a few hours for the first time before I close my eyes to sleep.

When I "wake up" into these dreams, I have the half-asleep sensation at first, similar to when I wake up into life's existence. I look about my surroundings and realize "something is not right." If this were a movie, the "uh-oh something is wrong" music would cue. I have learned to recognize these dreams as they occur far too often now. The first thing I do is locate the clock and read the time. Then I lie there and study my surroundings trying to see "what is different."

Often in these dreams I am attacked.

I've had them as long as I can remember - from very early childhood. In the early childhood ones, it was a child's mind that worked it's way through this. I was lying in my early childhood bed, my sister was asleep in her crib in the room. The door was open to the hall, yet the closet door was shut. In walks this doberman pincher. My father had taught me to extend my hand for the dog to smell it to know I am a friend. Still lying in the bed, I flop my arm out, hand open. The dog trots over to my bed, sniffs my hand and bites it - hard. I wake up terrified.

Starting in college, the dog no longer frightened me. There was something much worse. It's in the darkest part of the room, usually the closet if that door is open - thank you childhood spooky stories! The attacker has no form, it is just ... darkness.

I remember one poignantly from a college ski trip. I had a nesting dream when I woke up from another dream into this dream; I noticed it was 4:00 am by the red-lighted digital clock on the nightstand between the two bunk beds. I was on the upper bunk bed beside the wall; my three roommates were all asleep in their bunks. The closet door was open; the darkness was in the closet. It was waiting.

At this point of my life, I feared the darkness, knowing it would attack me. I knew if I kept my gaze on it; it would watch me and not move. It was a waiting game. The minutes would tick by until I made a decision to do something. Even if I shut my eyes the "presence" is felt, and icy sweat of fear covered my body as I curled up in a ball under the covers. At last the wait was too much for me and I would challenge it along the lines of "come on!" It would lunge at me. I had learned to turn away, roll over, and I felt it's icy touch as it swept over me, just past me. Then I woke up into this life's existence. I noticed the time was 4:07 AM. As I said, I'm not patient.

It is always as though the clock in the dream matches the clock in this life, regardless where I am, what time this dream happens, or how long I wait.

Over the years, I became a bit braver and faced it down. That was when I discovered the darkness would go right through me - body, spirit and soul. It was COLD, colder than anything I have ever experienced in this life's existence. I felt it slide through me and out the other side. Then I would wake up.

Until it attacks, I am stuck in that dream; nothing I would do would wake me up. I've even tried to get my husband to wake me up. I've tried to call to him; I've tried to move my sleeping limbs to kick him awake so he would wake me up. Nothing. This may be what it's like for people in a coma. There is an awareness, but nothing you do can make your body wake up to respond to those outside the dream.
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Even times when I wake up from these dreams do not guarantee I wake up to this life's existence. Sometimes I wake up into yet another dream and have to go through it again.
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Since 2007, I've not only become braver, I've faced the darkness a different way. I think this may have started right after a particular ... eventful dream. I had fallen asleep in the living room, resting on a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor (my husband snores like a grizzly and our couch is a tiny sofa). In the dream, I had a bad Everyday Dream and woke myself up - into a true nightmare. I was on the floor in the living room. The security light outside shown through the blinds. I wasn't the only one in the room. Just beyond my feet, beside the couch, a demon - fully visible and beyond description, was there. He was reaching toward me with clawed hands, trying to grasp hold of me, but in vain. He was struggling against some practically-unseen golden light / force / energy. He was screaming at me, angry and frustrated, in a language I had not heard before but understood it as no language of this earth.
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I was petrified. This was beyond the icy sweat trickling down my back; this was the I can't even blink let alone move a muscle fear. While my eyes were on this horrific visage, my mind numb with shock. I just couldn't process what was going on; my mind didn't work. But after several long moments I finally realized someone else was there.
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Yeshua had his arms wrapped around me; He was lying there beside me the whole time. He kept repeating over-and-over the Lord's Prayer. It was recited in English. I could clearly hear the words with my ears; often He just spoke to my mind in the dreams but my ears were registering it long before my mind was able to register anything.
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When my mind finally found enough Peace, I realized Yeshua's repetition of the Lord's Prayer was keeping this demon at bay. I started to pray with Him. While it started out as a hoarse whisper, my own prayers gained volume, strength and confidence. When I was confident enough, Yeshua smiled at me, squeezed me one more reassuring hug and faded from my sight. I felt Him still with me and within me. His recitation was still clear in my mind, but no longer in my ears.
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I realized in that moment then, I had nothing to fear from the demon before me. I was safe. I woke up in the room. All was the same as in the dream, except the demon was gone.
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Now, the nesting dreams are a test of how well I deal with fear. Sometimes there's a darkness, but often it is this "something not right feeling." My mind goes to work and I use what I have learned in the Learning Dreams to dissipate this fear. Again, there are times when I have a "do it again" routine, where I wake up from a Nesting Dream into another Nesting Dream and I practice again. Different fears come to mind; I learn how to overcome them.
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Since I have reached this point in my learning, however, I feel more confident and less fearful in this life's existence.
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One last point I wish to make in this category: a lesson beyond facing the fear. Perhaps, just perhaps, this life's existence - what we all call RL or "real life" - is itself nothing more than a dream. When a great sleep was put upon Adam to make Eve's from his rib, there is nothing stating Adam woke up. Also, there are numerous times in traditional and gnostic gospels when Christ says "wake up!" to others. If I awaken from one dream to the Nesting Dreams, could this not be a dream which we all share?

Learning Dreams

The next in my litany of dream categories is one that I've been getting more and more often since 2007.

Learning Dreams are where I am not only aware I am dreaming; there is no dream-self. There is only my own mind. While I probably could start flying, similar to the fun dreams, there is usually some guide or at least a strong impression of one, that I've come to think of as the Holy Spirit. Much like a teacher in a classroom, the guide directs me through these exercises where I do different things. Often it is a matter of focusing my mind, or at least better disciplining it.

Yeshua/Jesus is often my guide / teacher / mentor in these dreams. I enjoy having Him there tremendously. He is a good teacher; He can put things into my perspective. But I also need to understand when I need to let go of my perspective when it gets in the way. He is patient; far more patient than I am, including with myself. I try to get it done right the first time and quickly. Sadly, not everything works "in a New York minute." :P

He is loving. I can see it in His eyes, I can feel it when He touches my mind and/or spirit. He also has a sense of humor. He laughs with me. Sometimes he gently teases me too, as big Brother is entitled to do. But when He teases He is either showing me the folly of my thinking, teaching me not to be so serious about something so insignificant, or just benevolently sharing the humor in the situation at that moment, getting me to smile and giggle too. He enjoys seeing us smile...


Part of the learning is tied into the Nesting Dreams that I will discuss next.

Visitor Dreams

As I continue this monologue of dream categories, I would like to start this post by distinguishing something stated in the last post. While I do dream "everyday dreams" with people who are no longer in my life, I have become aware of the difference between my brain working out life's experiences and actual visits while I am asleep.

Visitor Dreams are distinguished essentially by the fact that my dream-self becomes aware - very aware - that I am dreaming and the person is really THERE, contacting me through my dreams. This may entail speaking with people who have died, or speaking with those whom I've never met in this existence yet somehow we know each other.
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These include ones where Yeshua/Jesus visits my dreams too. Though He also plays a major part in the Learning Dreams as well. But I will side-track here a moment to share a beautiful memory of one of the non-learning dreams.

My dream self was in some building that my current mind does not recognize, but my dream self was both familiar and comfortable being there. It was a cross between an events hall and a church. The ceiling was high, it was dimly lit, though there were dusty sunlight streamers coming from the upper windows across the air near the ceiling. The room encompassed much of the building and was cross shaped, much like many of the old cathedrals I've visited. The doors were also at the "foot" and ends of the "arms" of the cross. While there were some wooden benches, similar to pews, they were pushed back against the walls, leaving much of the room open.

While large and open, it bustled with people and activity. In the dream, I am one of the people coordinating the work going on in the room, as well as actively engaged in the work itself. I believe we were sorting and folding clothing that was going to be brought to the local homeless shelter.

I initially spied Yeshua the widest part of the room, where the "arms" of the cross extended. He was bending over the random piles, neatly folding and setting the clothing down in one of the sorted piles, much like many of the others in the room. He was dressed in sandals, simple white robe with a sash, though my dream-self didn't think this was strange. It was the same impression I have when I see other volunteers dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt.

So I bent back to my work and picked up the next item in the unsorted pile at my feet. Then it blossomed in my mind. "That was HIM!" I looked up quickly, dropping the article of clothing in my hand. He looked up my way, smiled and nodded as if He read my thoughts.
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I ran - literally RAN - to him and wrapped my arms around Him, over His shoulders in a strong hug. He swept me up into His arms and spun me around as though I were no more than a little girl who had just run into her big brother's arms. Then He held me close in a big, comforting hug. It was remarkable! It was fantastic! It WAS Him! It was real!

Every fiber of my being screamed this. I could never - ever - dismiss it as just a dream. Tears stream down my face as I recall that beautiful moment.

Then He set me back on my feet, kissed my cheek, smiled at me, and - sadly - sent me on my way. Back to the work, on to another dream, back to this existence. I have more to learn, more to do. But He is there, with me.

I've had other dreams with Yeshua visiting; I've had other visitors as well, including both my deceased father (who asked me to help my mom take care of the house) and my brother. The most recent with my little brother (who passed away last April) I believe was the last one from him. We had said our farewells to each other. My dad still pops up from time to time.

I've had a cusp-of-a-dream experience with visitors too. One time while visiting friends in Pennsylvania, I had a dream where it was like a conversation with visitors in a fog. I could not see, but it wasn't complete, inky black darkness. There was light, just nothing to see; similar to bright lights in a really dense fog or white-out conditions in a blizzard. This was a two-part dream, happening over two nights.

The first night, I had contact with someone who claimed to be Michael. He said he was close by. While he didn't outright say he was an angel, there were hints at it. I awoke in the borrowed bed sitting upright with my hand extended out, feeling like I just got dumped back into my body.

The second night was like the first, except Michael introduced me to a friend. The friends name sounded to me like Ariel. I asked: "Ariel, like the little mermaid." The friend seemed to emanate feelings akin to seeing a sour face, while Michel laughed good-naturally and replied, "No, NOT like the mermaid." I awoke the second night in a similar pose as the first.

That Monday, I was chatting with a friend of mine in Texas. He said he had just been contacted by Archangel Michael, and another... named Uriel.

"Uriel?" my mind asked, "Like Ariel? But not like the mermaid..."

My friend also mentioned about both angels being in Pennsylvania, though my friend didn't know I had just visited there that weekend.  

I don't know if the pair that contacted my friend were the same that reached me in Pennsylvania. I still wonder if that was another type of visit after all. Angelic or not, someone touched my mind those two nights.

Rarely, I am also visited by Pari (God). Though these encounters shake me to my foundations and scare the crap out of me. Not while I am in the dream, but right afterwards when I wake up and realize Who I have just had a real encounter with, my mind reels. They are probably rare because of this strong reaction. My mind in this life's existence does not seem to be ready for such a contact. Pari doesn't want to scare me. Sometimes my Learning Dreams are geared toward changing my mindset so these are not so frightening...

Everyday Dreams

I continue in my discussion of the various categories in which I list my dreams. Thus far I have mentioned deja-dreams and fun dreams. Here I discuss:

Everyday Dreams: These are dreams where the brain works out events that happen during the day, what I've observed (either real life, movies, books, etc.), conversations I've had, things I've learned, and so on. These usually occur at the start of my sleep and may carry on through the night until I get up in the morning. Or they can change as early as the second dream.

When I was younger, this was the majority of my dreams with a spattering of deja-dreams. Now it occurs as less than half of my dreams.
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From what I've heard and read, these are the types of dreams everyone has. They can be good or bad. There is no flying save by airline; there are no mental abilities. It is simply as I would experience life in this existence, except I do not realize I am dreaming. 

There is no observer-self; only the dream self and all is experienced through that self's awareness, thoughts, memories, and knowledge. Interesting to note though, the dream-self's mind differs from what's in my head when I set it onto the pillow that night. Sometimes it's minor changes - such as the color of a favorite sweater; sometimes it's major - such as I forgot my dad died six years ago as I'm having a conversation with him at a family gathering.

These I generally consider simply as my brain is trying to "debrief" or reconcile all that I experience in this life - day by day or over time.

Fun Dreams

As I said in my prior post, I've decided to start recording my dreams, but first I wanted to share how I classify them. In the prior post, I described my deja-dreams. The "fun dreams" are similar in some aspects.

Fun Dreams: At some point near the start of the dream, I realize I am dreaming. The dream-self and the observer-self at this point, however, are the same. I just become aware I am dreaming. Then the fun begins.

I can fly in these dreams. I simply focus on the awareness of my body and mentally ... "lift / pull myself up." Once my feet have left the ground I can find and ride the currents, similar to a gliding hawk, or I can mentally propel myself through the air in a particular direction, similar to a jet ... err without the "gas" propulsion one may see in a comedy. :P

Sometimes I shape shift. In these dreams, the body is only what I think of it. I can run through the snowy woods on four paws like the timber wolf, or flap my wings like an eagle. I can run through the open fields like a wild mustang with the sun warming my back, or shift to become a pegasus where my wings propel me toward the clouds. (Yes, I do enjoy flying in these dreams).

I can also just "grow" wings from my back to take on the commonly envisioned images of an angel to fly. Though I would like to note my concepts of angels have moved from what I've been shown in books as a child to something different: a being of pure light and love that reflects/extends Pari's (God's) Light and Love. Sometimes the battle angles may have the impression one is looking upon a column of white fire. But in general, like I do in my dreams, they can take on the image of something simply by thought.

Though, that isn't far from what I see humanity as either - beings of light and love, extensions (Children) of God. We just wear flesh for a time to experience this existence, to learn and grow. That which goes beyond the grave is what we truly are: our spirits, our souls. 

Deja-Dreams

It just occurred to me as I woke up this morning that this would be an excellent resource to start recording some of my dreams. In general, I have very lucid dreams. Often I can not only recall most of them upon waking (even hours or days later) but I can also tell - at times - that I am dreaming while I am in the dream. I've come to categorize my dreams. I will start with deja-dream here and post the others separately.

Deja-Dream: There will be dreams that I am aware that I am dreaming. There is also an added understanding / "feeling" that I will see the events / experiences unfolding around me in the future. This isn't a prophetic dream, per se, just what will happen in my personal life. These can involve everyday events (work, home, travel), conversations with people I either know or will know at that point in time, or things I observe around me at the moment. There have been no life-changing, earth-shaking events when I receive a "deja vu" that matches a previous "deja dream." 

While I have the awareness of the deja-dream, I try my best to focus on all the details: what I see, what I hear, what I smell, what I touch, what I taste, my thoughts... Well, thoughts are interesting. In these dreams there is what I call my "dream self" which has all the awareness, thoughts, memories, knowledge that I will hold at that point in the future. Then there is my "observer self" that holds all the awareness, thoughts, memories, knowledge that I went to bed with that night. There are differences and I try to pin-point as many differences as possible. Some of the major differences are location, people, events (personal to global) that had occurred just prior to the moment in which I experience the deja-vu. In other words, I guess I'm reading my own future mind.

I don't always figure out all the differences. For example, I have dreamed of "homes" that I have not lived in yet. Or workplaces where I have yet to work. Or have conversations with people whom I have yet to meet. Strangely, though it is not until I reach the actual "deja vu" moment that I make the connection. Then my awake / observer self sits back and goes, "Ah! So THAT is the place / person / event that I wondered about."

God works outside of time; it should not seem strange that His/Her children should be able to also.