Twitterpated!

The last few weeks, I have been maintaining my Twitter account. I've unfollowed accounts that have been inactive for a year -- up to five years in some cases. 

I also created lists to include tweets I WANT to read, rather than ads; strings of names; hypertext links; and hate, especially after recent US Supreme Court decisions. I feel Yeshua weep with each "Burn in hell fagot!" tweet from those who claim to follow Him -- but that is another blog post.

This one is about what I have been doing wrong.

At the start, I believed this would bring me some sense of order and a sense of accomplishment, especially since I am a "Type A" personality. But, in truth, I have become more frustrated, angrier, impatient, less creative, and experience a sharp increase in physical pain plus an inexplicable fever.

Yeshua and I had a heart-to-heart conversation. I acknowledged that this "account management" did not make me happy. More, I had to face the fact that I am judging fellow humanity. I argued that I was no longer muting accounts (see What Would God Do?), but... I am still playing Judge. And that does not bring joy, only a whole mess of negative emotions.

He advised I set Twitter aside and consider what I was doing and why I feel the need to judge others -- just as much as those I label (judge as) "haters."

I feel justified because it gives me a sense of control in my life. I don't have control at my job; I don't have control in my home; I don't even have control over the pain that attacks my body on a daily basis. So I sought control in one little corner of my life -- over those whom I choose to read. 

But the real reason is that I want to stop all the tweets that irk me. I chose segregation, judged them as unworthy, and tried to stamp them out just as I previously chose to silence them with the mute feature. (The coincidence that the prior post is False Messiah is not lost on me...)

I argued that I need some control in my life. That is when Yeshua pointed out something simple and profound. When I try to control -- even in something as small as Twitter account management -- I do not give GOD that part of my life. How can God lead me to those whom I can help, if I no longer interact with them? How can God let me see where I can shine GOD's Light (rather than my own), if I shut the door by pre-judging others? "Prejudice" means to pre- judge.

All who hate and scream when things are not in line with their beliefs have prejudice. Yet, these are God's children, brothers and sisters whom I should love and to whom I should show love, kindness and compassion. I should never offer hate for hate or prejudice for prejudice.

I delete the lists and pray that God helps delete this belief that I have a right to judge or control others.

I can only share blessings via the Holy Spirit. When I follow my will instead of God's, there is no Blessings or Joy, only pain, anger, hate and frustration... 

These I must release to embrace God's Mercy and Forgiveness. I want to dance in Holy Spirit's Song, and let lyrical Blessings sing through tweets. I want to feel God's Love flow through me - not this bitter taste of judgment.

Hate and judgment do not make me feel better nor provide any control; the opposite is true. So, I open my hand and open my heart. No matter what I see in the tweet stream, I know and trust that God will guide me.

And God's timing and Love are both perfect.

~ ESA