Dark Whispers

When I took time to look inside my head and witness all the negative whispers streaming from my subconsciousness, I was surprised.

How many others have similar dark whispers, drown out of conscious awareness by the internet, TV, radio and all other worldly distractions, but still influencing on a sub-conscious level? I am willing to bet we all do.

During my hiatus, I had an opportunity to open up with another that also has many frustrations, doubts, fears and a super-sized helping of tears.

She had drunken deeply from all the negativity around her - that she was fat at a size 7, that she was ugly, that she was worthless, that she was unloved and unlovable, and so on.

Whether our subconscious minds learn these lies from ads, news, stories, others, or sources of which our conscious minds are completely unaware, it DOES have a negative impact on our self-perception.

While not easy, I admit that my own mind over-indulged in these dark whispers. It led to insecurities, depression, fears, emotional turmoil, stomach ulcers and a wide buffet of other issues. And all the while, I was barely aware these thoughts existed - if I was aware at all.

But the dark whispers also had a firm command - do not speak of these. So I buried my pain deep (see prior post). These past weeks, I had an opportunity to change this.

A friend and I traded many emails in which we revealed all these dark negative whispers that danced randomly through our minds.

We would read each other's confessions and ask, "What the heck is she talking about?!? I can see that isn't true. Why does she believe that of herself?"

Then I issued a challenge I hope to continue in life. We tell each other the truth, as often as possible, starting with the most important: We are God's children. We are Loved. We are Loving. We are worthy of Love. 

Then we work on the particular lies we each have rolling across the dark corners of the mind.

Hand-in-hand.

How bright would the world become if we all had an opportunity to know that those dark whispers in our subconscious were all just lies?

How often could a sad face be lifted, a self-image be strengthened, a soul healed, and love and courage renewed?

I hope I never stop trying to counter that, for each and every person that touches my life, even for a brief moment.

After all, the moment in our hands is truly all we have.

Remember: You are God's child. You are Loved. You are Loving. And - no matter what the dark whispers tell you - you ARE worthy of Love.

Healing Scars

While I recuperate from surgery, God has not been inactive in my life. Though quiet on Twitter, I've been busy elsewhere. I want to share something I realized along the way.

Many teach we should confess sins, and thus be forgiven. But "confessing" actually goes beyond that single purpose.

When I speak about something, particularly something close to my heart, I make it more real to myself as well, bringing it to my conscious mind so it can be addressed.

When I discuss old wounds, admitting those scars (those "deep, dark secrets") are still there, I also brought them to God's Light, where they CAN be dispelled. This not only includes things we call "sins," but also things that hurt us over the years. God can and does wash away both!

This wasn't just bringing things to God in the silence of my heart. This was dragging the whole "kit and kaboodle" to the cruel light of this world - telling another in life! To me, and likely many, the thought of doing so scared the crap out of me!

I didn't want these thoughts and memories on the surface of my mind, and certainly not out in the open where others can see and judge me by them. So I buried them - and then hid the shovel!

But the truth is, they never got healed that way. They only come back to bite me like an iceberg in the night, where the majority of the negative influences are below the surface, in my subconscious.

I finally had a heart-to-heart with someone, grabbing a pinch of courage --- OK a LOT of courage --- and several boxes of tissues to do so. I shared the scars I carry within, all the negative images I have of myself, all the things that hurt me over the decades.

It was HEALING. 

Yes, I brought it to God in prayer - MANY times. And when I prayed, I was comforted. But God also works through our sisters and brothers for a reason.

When I buried something as far from my mind as possible, I offered God the pain, but not the root cause. 

God does not work against free will, no matter how strong the urge to help a Child in anguish. Talking with another brought it to my conscious mind, and into God's Light.

So God waited for me to decide that I did not want to hide them any more. Then these old, but still raw scars, were gently taken from my hand... and dissipated into sweet Joy.