Pari's Lap

I woke up early (3:30 am) and spent time with Yeshua and Pari (God ~ see here for more). Mostly it was a time of Peace and a chance to reflect what some of the underlying thoughts were (see Mental Yoga).  I was surprised when a particular thought rose to the surface. I turned to Pari and asked, "Am I ugly?" I originally thought of this body, but I also realized that my mind included my spirit and soul in this question...

Immediately hordes of memories dating from recent years to as far back as very early childhood sprang to mind - all indicating that this was the very reason I was outcast all these years. I have learned to recognize this prompt. It was not from Pari but from the Adversary through my ego. It was designed to make me feel small, insignificant and worthless. For the moment, it was working...  ... only for that moment.

Since I was already in contact with Pari and feeling a bit more bold, as I could feel Yeshua's comforting Presence akin to arms around my shoulders, I took a trembling step (allegorically) toward Pari and asked for help. I could not get past this barrage of negative images and feelings alone.

The response that came back surprised me even more than the question that started this mess. "Climb into my lap." Say what!? But all I got was affirmation that I heard correctly. I was asked to climb into the lap of God. I argued at first that I didn't know how. But the answer returned that I DID know how, as every child of God knows, but I could not do so as I was holding myself back. I swallowed a bit and asked for help in NOT holding myself back, if that makes any sense. I felt a hand, as though someone physically present but unseen in the room had gently cupped the back of my neck.

All doubt was gone. The answer was there. Just simply will myself into Pari's lap. I did and I was there. I didn't even need to stir the blanket that was wrapped around me for warmth.

I forgot what this is like; it's been over four decades since I last crawled into a parent's lap. Things look a LOT different from there. My perspective, introspectively and extrospectively, CHANGED.

I was warned that this would be only temporary, but the purpose was to give me some insight to take with me. I am not ugly - inside or out. I am a beautiful creation of God. So is everyone else. What an amazing insight! The lies will still be out there, but I was given the proof that they ARE lies. We are all beautiful children of God, and when we see from God's perspective, we are equally beautiful to each other. Sometimes we just need to climb into our loving Parent's lap and have a good look around.

Even when we are lost, pulling ourselves away, or frightened, we are still beautiful. When we are exhausted by our struggles and - at last - surrender ourselves to God's Care and Mercy, we are as lovable and adorable as a pack of puppies that desire nothing but unconditional Love. And God WILL take us into arms that never tire of holding children, no matter how we may squirm. :)