Intentions

I got an earful from Yeshua. His  disappoint- ment affects me far more than hours of ranting would, especially when I love and respect Him so much. He was right, though; I screwed up.

Long story short, I focused the spotlight on myself, rather than where it needs to be.

At the fair yesterday, I approached a booth with Jesus' name in reverse-image, challenging one and all to read it.

My plan was to get them into conversation for the sole purpose of showing them my ring with Yeshua's name in Hebrew, to see if THEY could read THAT name.

What am I? Six years old?

While we chatted, my mind focused on the predetermined goal. I was almost oblivious to what was being shared through me. Instead, my goal served to derail something that would have been priceless to share.

While I found myself trying to get the person to STOP reading the highlighted passages from the bible to me, and use his own words, I was not successful. I could have encouraged him to rely on the Spirit within to give him the words to speak, instead of the pre-packaged "how to convert them" spiel.

As my focus was between two goals, I was effective at neither. It was like trying to convince a child that he could ride a bike without training wheels, when the child was ready to throw a temper-tantrum if you approached the bike with a wrench.

You can not serve two masters. You cannot be effective trying to hit two goals either, apparently.

The ring added NOTHING to the conversation, to what I really COULD share with this person. The only reason I approached this tent was to stroke my own ego. 

There, I said it!

I regret that I had that as my intention. I didn't notice the warning shot fired out my own mouth at the conversation's start. At a mention of Jesus' anger toward the Pharisees, I added that it wasn't only because they acted better than the rest (as the Roman leaders did that too). It was because they were chosen to interface between God and man, and they used their positions to seek the fame and stroke their egos, instead of doing what God asked them to do.
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And here I did the same thing... stroking my ego. It's no wonder I got an earful.
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But life continues, and I ascend another stepping stone along the way, even if I happened to trip over it first. :P