Fighting Darkness Within

I just came from another lesson. While some may think this is just a dream, I have learned to recognize the difference. 

First, I realize I am dreaming.

Second, while there are things in dreams that seem "weird" or "not quite right" when observed while we were not dreaming, our dream-self accepts it as normal. In these, one or more of the senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, scent, awareness) detects something is different.

Third, these dreams always take place where the body is sleeping, whether  my familiar bedroom, another room, another home, a hotel room, a camp site, etc. Often the dream starts as "waking up" in the middle of the night.

Alice stepped through the looking glass.

While I won't go into details of this particular dream, I do want to cover some common elements and steps I've learned while in these lessons.

We're not in Kansas anymore...

I recognize something is not quite right with the reality around me. This frightens; that's its purpose. When I first started these lessons, I became so petrified and trapped at this point. But I have since learned what must be done to escape.

There is no escape

Waking up (escape) isn't as easy as normal dreams. There are dreams I realize I am dreaming and can just wake myself up by willing it. This I can do on my own.

In these lessons, I cannot.

Even if I take some of these steps, or do them halfheartedly, I wake up into another of these dreams. Like walking through a door from one room only to find another room just like it instead of an exit.

Fighting the fear

Fear is tremendous, but I only go completely witless if I let myself. There is a stronger Will within us. Fear manifests all sorts of weird, frightening things that change from dream-to-dream. But they are all strange, frightening, and with an overwhelming fear that it will attack and hurt you - sometimes it does.

Never alone

If there are others sleeping in the same room as my body, they may appear sleeping in my dream, unable to help me. If I reach out to them and try to wake them, it will not work.

But I am not alone; God is there - always.

Even if the dream-state is too frightening to recall this tidbit. God IS there - even when I don't think it. For we are never separated from God, even in the darkest corners of our mind.

Power of His Name

Yeshua (Jesus) can be called into the dream too, just by thinking of Him and believing He will be there.

If fear is takes my mind beyond reason, I find power in Christ's name, whether I use Jesus, Yeshua, Yehoshua, Joshua, etc. Whatever name is written in a heart will do. Even if my mouth does not seem to work or my tongue utters these unintelligible sounds - I SHOUT the name in my mind.

His Presence comes into my mind, even if I don't see Him in the dream.

He is there - for real.

I realize this name isn't the step for everyone, and that a name from any relationship a person has with God (for example, YHWH) will apply here.

YOU can NEVER escape this

This is the hardest part of the lesson to learn. I need to realize I am trapped in this lesson and there is NOTHING I can do to get out of it. Nothing.

But I am also not alone. God can get me out.

This requires a very great amount of effort to humble myself, step away from my pride, my will, my belief that I can take care of myself. I must become like a little child - completely dependent on our Parent. I ask God for help - THIS is the only way out. All those other rooms are the same nightmare.

Prayer is a Shield

I simply pray a prayer (mantra also works) I know by heart - from my heart. Often my mind can become paralyzed with fear, but there's a part that will be the calm in the storm.

If I cannot reach this safe harbor, just calling out "God, help me!" works. A "please" is of great benefit too.

Just repeating the words over and over WILL establish calm, and help me get to the other steps.

Turn away from the Darkness

I will warn my readers of one thing all past lessons like this have taught me: There is a strong temptation NOT to pray. There's an overwhelming sense / sensation / understanding that when I turn my focus away from whatever it is I fear, I will be attacked. The temptation is to focus full attention on the attacker - NOT on the One who can save. While this seems allegorical, it is very real as well.

In praying, I don't have to kneel, bow or position my body in any particular way, as long as my mind bows to God's Will. But this requires I turn my attention completely to God. Closing my eyes seems to help, though the weird noises and other senses are very much alive; I'm aware of something ready to attack me.

Resist that temptation; risk the injury. I will not say it will not hurt. In fact, I sometimes have residual aches from it afterwards. But it fades once I realize I am free. I become far stronger when I turn away from fear- to God.

This is the hardest part.

God does the rest

Whatever is about to attack me, may or may not. Once my attention is completely on God, humbly asking for help, knowing there is nothing I can do about it, God does the rest. I am wrapped safely in God's Hands and brought from this darkness.

I am freed.

Practice, practice, practice!

Over years, I've learned practice makes perfect - or at least better. I pass through these steps much more quickly now, knowing the steps instinctively.

I also understand that I may not be freed right away. This leads to doubt and the temptation to turn my attention away from God and back toward the fear. The longer I cling to God, the stronger I become.

More than a dream

These lessons are part of my journey home. There are some dark things in the corners of my soul, and God helps me clear these out. Sometimes, though, I am asked to face these dark corners myself. I don't see what is really lurking in them, at first, for I only see the manifestations - the weird things of these dreams. It's only after I wrestle my focus away from this darkness, that I am free, able to look into that dark corner and realize... I don't want it anymore.

Take this as spiritual or psychological - it works either way.

Take it on the road

The lessons I learns though this can be applied in my waking life too. All of it. There is so much in my life I dread, worry about... fear. Yet, I still insist on tackling these, by myself.

Remembering the steps; we all will be free.

Row, row,

Row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily,

Merrily, merrily

Life is but a dream.